Thursday, November 26, 2015

Our 13 favorite zombie killers: Apocolyptic BAMFS

Who is your favorite zombie killing machine? We at Geeky Lists enjoyed our last horror movie debate so much that we decided to use t... thumbnail 1 summary

Who is your favorite zombie killing machine? We at Geeky Lists enjoyed our last horror movie debate so much that we decided to use the format again with our favorite zombie killing professionals.  The rules were decided that only one character per franchise could be chosen, which actually lead to the exclusion of dawn of the dead due to having so many characters qualify that it warrants its own later post.  The list itself was decided by the entire group, but each case is made by the advocate who draws them.  The order of these zombie killing gods is completely random and not a rank.  Light spoilers, we try to avoid them, but sometimes it is impossible to make a point without one.

1. El Wray - Planet terror

 "El Wray has to be on this list, He never misses, and even though he never misses, he uses knives half the time.  The raw skill of El Wray alone should put him here, but he is also equipped with some serious dialog and dramatic flair.  He is likely to kill the ladies as he is to kill the zombies. 

Not to mention he is the reason Cherry even has that machine gun leg, without El Wray she'd be the dead depressed girl that got eaten in the hospital.  El Wray is a certified BAMF, dual wielding pistols and knives and clearing everything in his path, he kills whole hordes by himself, jacket.  He looked for it for two weeks." - Orange

Get Planet Terror

2. Daryl Dixon - Walking dead

"Daryl is one of the few zombie killers that actually thrive in the post apocalypse.  With his tracking and bow hunting skills, he can sustain himself indefinitely and silently kill as many zombies as he needs.  He is a brutally pragmatic fighter that switches to all business when it is needed and wipes out whatever he has to. 

He is also psychologically strong, he doesn't break down from the horrors of the world.  He is deceptively clever and in tune with people, and has proven his own intuition is very strong. 

He faced the end of modern civilization and still values things like truth, and integrity, enough to practice them.  The fact that he is tough, deadly, capable and still CHOOSES to be a good person says just how ahead of the curve he really is.  He worries a lot about survival, but its never his survival. That and according to all the girls on my facebook, he may be the sexiest zombie killer here." - Gray

Get The Walking Dead

3. Tallahassee - ZombieLand

"Tallahasee enjoys his job, he is so good at it that he has turned it into a game for himself.  He not only kills zombies, but he tries to do it in new and fun ways.  He is the Twinkie craving innovator of the art that is zombie killing, using banjo's, setting up situations, etc.

He has endless raw aggression towards the army of the undead, so much that uses them for entertainment, while still valuing human life and more or less caring about people.  I think between the highly effective killing and the over all cool vibe that he exudes with his cocky attitude.  He kills, he copes, he makes the zombie apocalypse fun for everyone, because not only does he survive, but he survives with a smile.  He should be on this list with a bullet, then a banjo, and maybe hide around the door so you can kill it on the burst. Have to get that zombie kill of the week." - Purple

Get Zombie Land

4. Ben - Night of the living dead

"The original zombie killing bad ass, Ben was able to keep his head about him through most of the encounter.  Not afraid to smack the people around him when he had to, he tried his best to keep everyone alive.  While others had the benefit of foresight and being able to think about the situation, Ben was just an average guy that had to improvise and make it all up as he went along, he chose not to be scared.  That decision made every one else on this list.

I mean the fact that he punched a white woman in the early 60's shows that Ben didn't have a lot of fear in him to start with.  He adapted to the situation at hand and handled it  He didn't let harry throw him to the wolves, and stopped to think as much as he put plans into action.

He didn't even know if zombies could be killed or how to do it, but he figured it out and then got the job done.  He may not have survived the movie, but he has lived on through every Ben shaped character after him. Now get the hell down in the cellar, you can be the boss down there, but Ben is the boss up here!" - Blue

Get Night of the living dead

5. Alice - Resident evil

"You get what you pay for, and umbrella corporation has deep pockets.  Alice is engineered into one of the most lethal over the top zombie killers ever created.  Alice doesn't fight zombies so much as she fights cities of zombies, plus genetically engineered zombie animals, plus super charged zombie monstrosities.  She is the definition of over kill when it comes to a zombie situation. 

She can salvage weapons, she can use almost every weapon due to the most intense operative training.  She is telekinetic, and grew into a super human. Knives, guns, swords, motorcycles, explosions, you name it, she kills zombies like the internet makes cat pictures.  All while looking incredibly sexy to top it off."  - Yellow

Get the Resident Evil collection 

6. Lionel Cosgrove - Dead Alive


 "Lionel Cosgrove is a legend.  He just wanted to take care of his mum.  He doesn't even really like conflict, but when it finds him, he is exactly the right mix of creative and driven.  Anyone can stab a zombie, and alot of zombie killers have training and fall back on tons of combat skills.  One truth in horror movies is widely apparent though.  When Lionel Cosgrove asks you to leave, if you are a zombie, you are leaving one way or the other.

This is not a man afraid of a little blood, or a lot of blood, or a lot of other random chunks of people.  At his core though, I think he means well.  It takes a special kind of zombie killer to pick a lawn mower to clear a room full of zombies, and that zombie killer is Lionel Cosgrove.  Hes on the list because if he wasn't, party's over." - Green

Get Dead Alive

7. Francesco Dellamorte - Cemetery man

"Poor underpaid Francesco, zombie killing is actually a paid position for him.  He might have gotten a little wonky from all the zombie killing, but his head count is truly huge.  Every night he kicks it off by killing zombies or stopping people from becoming zombies.  You know you have killed too many zombies when one of your weapons is berating them for being a bad example to the other corpses. 

Not only because of the amount of zombies, the fact that he had to set up the entire system of killing zombies by himself, or the hilarious way he sees the world, but because of the extra style points on some of the kills.  Francesco deserves to be on the list, and to get paid overtime."  - Gray

Get Cemetary Man

8. Cholo Demora - Land of the dead

"Cholo is a hard as nails zombie killer, his toughness can't be disputed.  What sets him apart from the crowd is his use of unconventional tactics and weaponry.  He routinely kills the crap out of zombies armed with...fireworks and a spear gun.  Half the time he isn't even fighting zombies so much as rendering them helpless and killing them.  He could potentially take care of the entire zombie invasion with minimal risks.  In a world where death is plenty and bites are fatal, being able to neutralize zombies is a key asset.

Not only that but he ups and steals a battle wagon when he gets double crossed. Even turning into a zombie himself doesn't knock him off mission. It is one thing to be a hard human being, it is another level to be so hard that losing your life and reanimating doesn't alter your plans.  Cholo earned his spot on the list AND his apartment in green fields, but on the last one, it looks like god left the phone off the hook." - Red

Get Land of the dead and Dawn of the dead in this collection

9. Shaun - Shaun of the dead

 "Shaun has a can do attitude, he knows when it is time to step up.  He can lead people, which is a nice departure from most of the lone wolfs on this list.  He is also bringing in the ability to pause and sort out his next move, which is another rare quality for a good zombie killer.  This and he still respects his team and acknowledges the strengths and weaknesses that they have.

An unconventional fighter for sure, but not an ineffective one, he disguised himself among the horde, and even contained ed successfully.  He can turn almost anything into a weapon and kill a zombie with it.  He is funny, but looking at the stats you can see that Shaun is no joke, ed, this is serious!" - Yellow

Get Shaun of the dead

10.  Cindy Bottoms - Fido

"I know this was a contested entry, but lets take a second.  She admits to having zombie kills in class, she doesn't flinch at gore what so ever, and she drops a zombie saving two full grown adults.  Some of these others might have style, but only Cindy has a merit badge for scoring a head shot while wearing a girl scout uniform.

She ends up with her own pet zombie even, at 9 years old with a minimum of two zombie kills, and showing the skills to get many more, I would be scared NOT to buy a box of thin mints from her, Cindy Bottoms is the truth." - Orange

Get Fido

11. Selena - 28 days later

 "Some people are hard, but Selena had to put down her entire family and the love of her life.  It turned her ice cold.  She might have warmed up a little over time, but she is fast, she is tough as nails, and she is completely ruthless when survival is needed.  Anyone infected around her is going down, and she is smart enough to grab gear to help in the fight.  Trained soldiers couldn't shake her, rage virus fast zombies don't make her break down either.

Nimble and fast with a weapon and always calm when the heat was on, she proved herself reliable many times to the group.  She's one tough lady, physically and emotionally, all wrapped up in quite the pretty package." - Red

Get 28 days later and 28 weeks later in this collection

12. Martin - Dead snow

"Possibly the only zombie killer to effectively weaponize zombies against other zombies, that alone should justify Martin on this list.  Doing it using the nazi arm of the zombie that tried to kill you AFTER you cut your own off with a chainsaw to dodge the zombie bite should make sure you are never off any list.  Regular people, run, and find weapons, and conserve food, it is about survival.

Martin saw zombies, then went and got his own zombies AND a tank, and brought the fight to them.  Then he finishes, reanimates his girl, and has sex with zombie her before the credits role.  It is that kind of thinking and execution that puts Martin right where he belongs on this list, and he brought a few friends." -  Purple

Get Dead Snow Dead Snow 2

13. Ash - Evil dead

"You have no Idea how happy I am to have Ash, I actually just moved him to the bottom for fear of stealing everyone else's thunder.  Let's face it, in the food chain of zombie killing, Ash is the apex predator, he has never had to evolve.   He is hilarious, he is inventive, he is tough as nails, and he is the living embodiment of swagger itself.  He can turn cars into war machines, make medieval robotic hands when they aren't busy being a chainsaw.  He can use magic, kind of, and then just win by sheer amounts of awesomeness.  Ash cant even outfight himself, seriously he tried and lost.

Every zombie killer, EVERY. ZOMBIE. KILLER. would have a poster of Ash on their bedroom wall.  He is quite simply everything you ever wanted in a zombie fight, with a bonus of being the coolest guy on the planet. Shot guns, chainsaw hands, a chin so strong its considered its own weapon.  Ben may have started the zombie killer idea, but Ash perfected it. Hail to the king baby." - Blue

Get the Evil Dead anthology set

That brings us to the conclusion of our favorite zombie killers, thank you for reading, if you have an opinion feel free to comment, if you enjoy the posts or the site please take a moment to share/follow/like/pin/extort people into reading/read from the book of the dead and send us legions of undead traffic.

From all of us at GeekyLists, thank you, and if you are reading this today, or a year from now, or far into the future on this day, happy thanksgiving.  We are thankful for you.