Monday, November 30, 2015

7 Evil Geek Gifts: Give the gift of rage for christmas

Some gifts are bad, others are pure evil.  We here at GeekyLists have a tradition of giving each other the worst geek presents, it started... thumbnail 1 summary
Some gifts are bad, others are pure evil.  We here at GeekyLists have a tradition of giving each other the worst geek presents, it started as an accident and then soon evolved into a kind of evil game.  If you have close geek friends that you like to torture, we would humbly like to suggest these gift options.  There is nothing better than someone awkwardly receiving a gift they hate and pretending to like it for your benefit, for extra credit you can ask about it until mid January.  Remember to lose the receipts and when at all possible get it on sale so returns are a nightmare.  The day of posting this is cyber monday, a perfect day...for evil.

1. Accessories and games for a system they don't own.

This one is hilarious, if they are an x-box one fan, get them bad ps4 games or vice versa.  Be sure to tell them that one of your other friends said the game was amazing, and offer to come over and play it with them.  If you can get it off genre as well, like rpg's for fps guys, it adds salt to the wound.  The finisher is if they say they own the other system, give them a a look that says, "Why?"

Get games here

2. The almost right fandom merchandise.

Same principle here, if you know a super die hard Star Wars fan, get them a phaser.  If they are a Star Trek fan, get them a lightsaber.  It has to look like you tried though, and almost got it right.  This can work for almost any fandom, but is best if they hate a spin-off or a version and you get them something from exactly that spin-off. 
Be sure to say a quote from it, and act like a big fan of the series.  This also works with getting them something for the almost right character depending on how die hard they are.  If they are nuts about Sam, getting them something with Dean can be a brutal judo chop to the right person.

Bonus points for the phrase, "They are basicly the same"

Get your action figures here

3. A hated film adaption of their favorite book or comic, or the book of their favorite movie.

Nothing makes a die hard fan angrier than getting the source material wrong in the movie.  Extra points if you point out that you got it because you know they love the book/comic so much.

If someone isn't a reader, giving them a book they might try to get through is its own form of torture.  Extra points for saying how much more detail the book has, and how they didn't explain your victims favorite character nearly enough in the movie.

For all your bad movie needs

4. A dubbed version of an anime for an otaku who only likes subtitles.

This sets up a sophies choice of watching the anime they love with all the wrong voices.  Or ignoring it and taking up space in their collection. 

Be sure to ask about it now and then so trading doesn't seem like a option.  Even more bonus points if you pronounce the name wrong, and say catch phrases or stupid lines you know the dubbing added.

 For your anime dvd's

 5. Slightly off brand merchandise.
Finding a knock off that is just close enough is an atom bomb of a move.  You can act like it's real, and if you sell it, they know its wrong, but don't want to offend you.  Think cartoon t-shirts with the characters wearing the wrong colors or holding the wrong weapon.  Maybe something with the wrong catch phrase underneath it.  This one hurts the most when its the closest you can get to being real, While still having that one fatal flaw to fans of it.  Bonus points for talking about the flaw like its actually in the franchise.  No link for this one, usually discount stores are a gold mine though, flea markets too.

6. The censored version of an album they like.
Nothing is sweeter than watching someone get excited about a cd for a band they are liking, only to later find out that half of it is censored.  This one has the added benefit of going off days later, hopefully after they already synced it up with their players.

 Be sure to refine by "Exclude explicit lyrics"

 7. The brand new game.
This one only really surfaces for PC gamers, but generally if you are super into computers, you talk specs with your friends.  Knowing these specs you can get them a game they genuinely want, but can't play with their current hardware.  Given that they spent all their money on Christmas presents, it can lead to a month of staring at a game they can't run.  It is brutal, but in the war of bad presents, there is no mercy.

For all your brand new game needs

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